am I a lost cause?

I want to do everything! I want to paint, sew, embroider, draw, pot, sculpt, weave, create assemblages and make mosaics, knit and crotchet, make crazy creatures, spend time in the garden and read until my eyes itch. And I know I can do all these things as I’ve done them in the past. But what do I do? Sweet Fanny Adams! I either run round like a headless chook getting everything I need for the project and then something else has caught my magpie’s eye and I want to do something else . . . or I procrastinate and do nothing!

Yeah, yeah.  I know.  I’m being too hard on myself but quite frankly people, I really do want to do everything and I really do want to do it all and now and what’s more I want to do it perfectly!  How’s that working for me?  Well of course it isn’t.  The evidence being my sporadic forays into all of the above with little development in my skills because I flit from one thing to the other.

Today was a bit of a nothing day and my favourite Deng Min Dao quote has been haunting me: Each day passes whether you participate or not.

Wendy @ Late Start Studio.

Wendy @ Late Start Studio.

So what, you may well ask, am I going to do about this?  I am not going to sit on my expanding bottom and give up. No, no, no!  I have a plan, a plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel! (Yes, I’m a Blackadder fan.) I have a SMART goal (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and within a Time-frame) and a plan to reach it . . .

By Sunday night I will have woven two more kete/baskets and weather permitting, harvested and processed sufficient harakeke/flax for 3 more. Why will I weave only two?  Because that’s all the flax I have left that’s prepared.

1. I am going to ration my time on the computer to 40 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes in the evening, blog posts are ‘permitted’ extra time.  Spending time on the computer is a habit I am challenging!

2. For the rest of the week I will focus on my weaving.  This includes the considerable preparation steps: harvesting, sizing, softening, labeling, sorting into sizes, boiling and dyeing and then finally, weaving.  I also need to keep my visual journal up to date for the assessment in late October.

3. Health is paramount!  Eat well and get some exercise each day . . . and you have no idea how I hate to exercise for the sake of exercise.  I like my exercise to be part of how I live on a day-to-day basis and today . . . well it was too damned cold to do much outside and I had a good book to read.

The goal and the plan are probably a result of my reading Becoming a Life Change Artist: 7 Creative Skills to Reinvent Yourself at Any Stage of Life.   It’s not that I need to reinvent myself exactly, I just need to do a little remodelling.  Quinn McDonald recommended the book a while back and if she recommends a book I take notice . . . she’s a wise woman and my town has an excellent library.

The problem with knowing I can do anything is that I think I have to do everything . . . I’m not really a lost cause am I ( please note, this is not a question and you may insert a sardonic wink here).

6 thoughts on “am I a lost cause?

  1. Wendy, after 2 years and 2 months of “official retirement”, I still meander through my days. My friends who retired years ago say it’s natural. Quite frankly, I’m getting tired of it. Tired of the numerous projects in planning, tired of looking at the piles of things I think I want to do, tired of wanting to do everything and doing very little. I’ve had a burst of energy recently that has stemmed from this … an inner voice tells me to figure out what really brings me joy and let other things (ya know, the things “everyone else” is doing) go. I’ll be blogging about this today.

    • I sometimes wonder if all the projects I have waiting for me are things I just thought I wanted to do, but now I have the time, I’m wondering. There is a lot more to say on this subject and I’ll look forward to reading your blog.

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